


broken bones and demon limbs

by Lilywastaken



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Demonic Possession, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-03 22:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilywastaken/pseuds/Lilywastaken
Summary: “I’ll make the nightmares go away.”The boy’s eyes are golden and shimmering and enthralling and Daehwi feels almost compelled when he takes a few steps forward. He hesitates, he knows everything is too odd and too unreal, but he can’t look away, he can’t stop his hand from stretching forward, his fingers lightly grazing the boy’s. The other clutches his hand, securing Daehwi’s hand in his.





	broken bones and demon limbs

He doesn’t know how it starts. One day, it’s there. And he doesn’t remember what it was like before. There’s a shadow lurking in every corner. It grows bigger when the sun goes down. It sneaks behind him. Daehwi worries he might be going crazy. A shadow’s just a shadow. But this one isn’t. It’s always there, in the corner of his eye. Whenever he tries to face it, it disappears. It doesn’t do anything. And it’s nerve-wracking. Daehwi is always on his guard. But it just follows him. 

The shadow is just the beginning. 

After a month, the nightmares start. One day it just happens. He wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, sweating and shivering. His light brown hair sticks to his forehead and his breathing is erratic. It’s always the same dream. He sees darkness, he sees blood, he sees death. It’s oppressing and he can barely breathe. He becomes afraid to sleep. He’s terrified of seeing it all again. He doesn’t sleep in days. The bags under his eyes are getting bigger and darker. He sees countless doctors but none of the sleeping pills they prescribe solve anything. 

One night, he’s sitting on his bed, in the dark, wrapped in blankets. Yet he’s cold, colder than he’s ever been in his life. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, or maybe it’s what comes after the nightmares. He’s rocking back and forth, trying to find warmth in any way he can. The shadow’s still there. He can see it with the moonlight, in the corner of his room. 

And then he sees him. 

At first he wonders if he’s not going crazy again. He hasn’t slept in more than thirty-two hours after all. He rubs his eyes a few times. He even pinches the soft skin of his arms, without averting his gaze. He’s not crazy. 

Someone’s standing at his window. It’s a boy. He doesn’t seem older than seventeen. His soft black hair falls in front of his eyes. His skin is so pale he doesn’t look… human. Daehwi untangles himself from the blankets and shivers. He doesn’t know if it’s the fear or the cold. The boy jumps lightly inside the room. He looks graceful and ethereal and Daehwi feels strangely drawn to him. 

 

“Who are you” 

 

That’s the only thing he manages to mutter among the mess of questions roaming inside his head. The boy’s impassive expression turns into a smile and Daehwi feels butterflies in his stomach at the sight.

 

“I’m here to help” the boy’s voice is deep and raspy, captivating. “I’ll make the nightmares go away.” he offers his hand, long, slim fingers stretching in front of him. 

 

The shadow, still lurking in Daehwi’s room, slides towards the intruder and clings to his feet. Like it belongs here. Daehwi is too fascinated by the beautiful creature standing in his room to question it. The boy is bathed in moonlight and it makes him look like he was sent from the heavens. 

 

“Trust me” the boy adds, and it’s barely louder than a whisper but Daehwi catches it anyways. 

 

The boy’s eyes are golden and shimmering and enthralling and Daehwi feels almost compelled when he takes a few steps forward. He hesitates, he knows everything is too odd and too unreal, but he can’t look away, he can’t stop his hand from stretching forward, his fingers lightly grazing the boy’s. The other clutches his hand, securing Daehwi’s hand in his. His skin is ice cold but his grip feels strong and reassuring. 

 

“I promise you, where we’re going, you’ll never feel pain ever again.” 

 

Daehwi nods, unthinkingly. The boy wraps his arms around Daehwi’s waist, who blushes at the touch. He’s so impossibly close, their noses almost touch when Daehwi looks up at him. He doesn’t realize what’s happening until they’re both flying out of the window and over the gleaming lights of Seoul stretching under them. Daehwi's eyes widen in wonder. The stars and the lights mingle together and they're alone in this sparkling, beautiful sky. Daehwi catches the boy’s eyes watching him and there's a look in them that almost seems like fondness. Compared to the coldness of his skin, the boy’s embrace feels warm and Daehwi relishes in the sensation. The chilly wind makes his nose and cheeks redden but he doesn’t care, he’s too caught up in contemplating the sky and the cities down under. Daehwi doesn’t know how long it takes but soon he feels the ground beneath his feet and the boy releases him from his embrace. Daehwi moves away reluctantly. The trees of a forest loom over them, tall, dark and eerie. His attention is diverted by a blue light on his right. He turns, curious, and is met with a dozen of beautiful glowing fireflies hovering around. The howl of a wolf can be heard in the distance and Daehwi shivers. He turns back to face the boy.

 

“You still haven’t told me who you are. And where are we?”

 

“The name’s Jinyoung” he answers “And this is Neverland”, he adds gesturing at the place around them. 

 

“Neverland? Like the tale?” Daehwi asks. 

 

Jinyoung nods but doesn’t add anything. He starts walking and gestures for Daehwi to follow him. They leave the cover of the trees, and what Daehwi sees has him speechless. It’s a beautiful beach. The sand feels soft under his fingers when he crouches down. The water stretches in front of them as far as their eyes can see and it glistens in the moonlight. Daehwi can’t resist the urge to just swim in the dark bluish water and the silvery light. He walks up to the edge of the water and strips of his clothes. He doesn’t look back, doesn’t know if Jinyoung is following him. The water’s so cold it freezes him to the bone but he keeps going. He has water up to his waist when he suddenly feels Jinyoung beside him. He’s still fully dressed, his black shirt sticking to his waist. His eyes shimmer even brighter with the reflection of the water. He slips his hand around Daehwi’s waist lightly. 

 

“Don’t stay in there, you’re gonna catch a cold,” he says, and Daehwi can hear worry tainting his voice. 

 

He follows Jinyoung to the shore, without any protestation. He puts his clothes back on and they sit together on the sand, in silence, contemplating the ocean. The reflection of the moon on the waves shines so dazzlingly Daehwi has to narrow his eyes. It’s at that moment that the realization comes down on him. He realizes how crazy everything is. How he shouldn’t be okay with what happened. People _ can’t _ fly. And why in hell did he even follow Jinyoung, a complete stranger who showed up at his window at night? Just because he looked pretty? Because he said he would help? Daehwi knows the answer’s more complicated than that but he can’t find any real reason. He just… sensed something in him. He felt if he didn’t take his hand now, he would regret it all his life. He felt it was the right thing to do. He felt something pull at his heart and without he even knew it his fingers were intertwining with Jinyoung’s. 

Jinyoung’s gaze is still lost on the horizon and he doesn’t flinch even when he senses Daehwi’s sudden nervousness. He doesn’t say anything, he lets him think for himself. Jinyoung is quiet but to Daehwi’s surprise, he doesn’t seem closed off. There’s a mysterious aura surrounding him but it doesn’t feel too thick, too dark or too impenetrable. 

Daehwi smiles. He figures he can keep his questions for later and just enjoy the night, sitting side by side in an unexpected comfortable silence. 

It’s not before long that Jinyoung is getting up, wiping the sand from his jeans and offering Daehwi his hand, looking away in an attitude that wants to seem laid back, a faint blush spreading on his cheeks. Daehwi looks up at him with a soft smile. He grabs his hand and gets up as well. They walk side by side along the shore, hand in hand, not daring to look at each other. 

Daehwi ends up breaking the silence, too impatient to keep quiet. 

 

“What is this place ?” 

 

Jinyoung turns towards him and his hair is falling slightly in front of his eyes, his intense brown eyes, with that golden shimmer in them. Daehwi gulps down, Jinyoung still intimidates him. He has never met someone so beautiful. Someone who looked like he could have the world at his command with a snap of his fingers. 

 

“I told you. It’s Neverland.” Jinyoung shrugs. 

 

“But  _ what _ is it? Do you live there? Why that name?”, Daehwi can’t help himself, he knows he sounds too greedy but he’s too curious. 

 

“I’ve been bringing young boys here.” Jinyoung starts and Daehwi’s expression must have shifted because he quickly adds “It’s not weird I swear it’s um… You know the nightmares? You’re not the first,  you’re not the only one. People like you… I bring them here. To help them.” 

 

“And where are they now?” Daehwi asks, curious. 

 

Silence is the only answer he gets as Jinyoung stares at the water with a profound sadness in his eyes. After a moment of walking in silence, the sand sticking to their ankles, Jinyoung talks. 

 

“They’ve… gone home.” Jinyoung answers and it surprises Daehwi a bit. 

 

_ Home? So they healed from the nightmares didn’t they? _ Daehwi’s curiosity is stopped by the look on Jinyoung’s face. He feels the melancholy radiating off of him and he doesn’t dare push the limits. He doesn’t even know Jinyoung, and he doesn’t want to put him off by forcing him to talk about personal matters. 

Soon, they reach the edge of the forest, the trees’ foliage is so thick that almost no light can pass through. Daehwi can barely see in the darkness but Jinyoung keeps walking confidently as if he knew the way by heart, and he probably does. Daehwi holds on tighter to his hand and follows him, trusting him unquestioningly. Jinyoung leads him to a tree house, built in the highest trees, the leaves covering the rooftop and ivy running through the wooden planks of the walls. They climb the ladder and settle themselves inside the little house. It’s a single room, there isn’t much furniture except for a table and two chairs next to the tiny window. The ground is covered in warm-looking blankets and fluffy pillows and Daehwi is excited to wrap himself in them. 

 

“You should get some sleep” Jinyoung says when Daehwi yawns. 

 

Daehwi knows he’s right. He has not been able to sleep in so long but he’s afraid the nightmares might come back the moment he closes his eyes to sleep. Jinyoung lights a candle at the window and it spreads a warm orangey light around the place. Daehwi observes the shadows dancing on the wooden walls before drifting to sleep, wrapped in the fuzzy blankets. 

 

◇◆◇

 

It’s late in the night, the candle’s already been blown out by the wind, when Jinyoung leaves the tree house. He walks for what seems like miles and miles without ever breaking a sweat. His breathing is controlled, his heartbeat regular. The night’s dark and quiet but Jinyoung sees as clearly as if it was day. He climbs a few rocks effortlessly to reach his goal. It’s a small cave, the entrance completely hidden away with ivy and other plants. He moves them out of the way, leaving some space to get in. The inside of the cave is plunged in total darkness. not a single ray of moonlight making its way through. Jinyoung keeps walking straight ahead. He stops when the cave widens into a room. Here there are candles burning in each corner and it seems like they have been burning for a while, with someone taking the time to replace them each time they completely melted away.  Jinyoung sits down and contemplates the wall in front of him. His shoulders start shaking and his head falls on his knees. If he weren't who he is, he would be crying. But his eyes stay dry, impassive. His hands grab his head and he pulls at his hair. He wants to scream but his mouth remains closed. He wants to feel  _ something _ but all there is is the cold and the dark. He doesn’t sleep that night. Nor does he every other night. He stays there, sitting in the faint orange glow of the candles and the cold and humidity of the cave. He’s used to it. He doesn’t feel it anymore. He doesn’t feel the stone behind his back freezing him to the bone. He doesn’t feel the light, cold breeze of wind coming from the entrance of the cave. 

His thoughts drift to Daehwi, who must be sleeping peacefully in the cabin now. The nightmares’ gone. Just like all the others. And just like the others, soon, he will leave. Jinyoung sighs and his eyes sting with not being able to cry. 

When the morning comes, he hasn’t moved an inch. One would expect him to be sore from staying in the same position for so long but he stands up easily and walks out of the cave as if he had been in there for ten minutes. The walk back to the tree house doesn’t take long and he arrives before Daehwi wakes up. He sits by the table, watching as Daehwi is breathing regularly under the covers, his messy soft hair falling in front of his eyes, a ray of sunlight making his skin appear golden. He looks angelic, sleeping peacefully in the sun and Jinyoung feels something pull at his heart. Something new. A thing he feels for the first time, a thing he’s never felt, even with the others. And Jinyoung isn’t scared of anything, but that feeling in his chest, constricting, making it hurt to breathe. That is the most terrifying thing he’s ever felt in years. He sucks in a breath when Daehwi’s eyes flutter open, narrowed by the harsh light of the sun hitting his face directly. His face lets nothing appear of his internal turmoil and he smiles at Daehwi. A soft, gentle smile. 

“‘Morning” Daehwi mumbles, his voice raspy from just waking up. 

 

“Did you sleep well?” Jinyoung asks, even though he already knows the answer. 

 

Daehwi seems to think about it for a minute, and his face lights up when he realizes he finally got a full night of sleep for the first time in days. 

 

“I actually did!” he says excitedly. 

 

“Do you want to go around the island today?” Jinyoung offers with a fond smile on his face. 

 

Daehwi nods with enthusiasm at the proposal. They arrived late in the night and judging by the way the sun is already high up in the sky Daehwi figures Jinyoung let him sleep for a long time. He doesn’t want to waste any more time of the day, he wants to make the most of his time here because if he’s honest with himself he has no idea how long he has here. And he doesn’t want to think about it for now. He remembers the beach from the night before but he wants to see more, he wants to explore the mysterious forest surrounding them. He wants to climb the rocks he saw in the distance, he wants to swim in the blue waters, and lay in the sand watching the clouds move way up in the sky. He even wants to fly again. He wants to feel the wind on his cheeks, he wants the liberating feeling to take control of him once again, seeing the world under him becoming smaller and smaller and it’s like nothing can get to him when he’s up there in the sky, Jinyoung’s arms holding him tightly like a reassuring embrace. 

Daehwi gets up on his feet, and they both go down the wooden ladder of the house. Jinyoung takes Daehwi’s hand in his to guide him through the bushes and the grass and the trees. Daehwi has gotten used to it. He can’t believe he has only met Jinyoung the day before yet he already is so comfortable by his side as if they had known each other all their lives. Jinyoung’s hand had found its way to his own hand more often than not since the night they met and Daehwi doesn’t complain. He enjoys the warmth, and how Jinyoung grip is strong yet gentle, and how his skin is soft and tepede. Daehwi is surprised at the change, even though the coldness of his skin the night before wasn’t what you could call pleasant, he had gotten used to it. But now it had become warmer. Daehwi smiles to hide his curiosity. 

Jinyoung guides Daehwi through the island. It is in fact a rather small island, but they spend so long in every place, Daehwi amazed at everything he sees that the sun is already setting and they still haven’t gone back. Daehwi loves the crystal clear water where he can see the colorful fish swimming around. He loves the singing of the birds in the trees, and the flapping of their wings when they fly off. He loves the taste of the fruits from the bushes, fruits that he has never seen before in his life but the freshness and sweetness of their juice have conquered his heart in an instant. He loves the warm wind in his clothes and his hair as the sun is setting, caressing his skin with the softness of feathers. 

They stop on a small beach, hidden away from everything, stuck in between two large piles of rock. The sun is disappearing behind the horizon, spreading his fiery light on the gleaming waters. The sand is so thin it almost feels like silk on their feet. Daehwi walks up to the water, Jinyoung closely following behind him. 

Jinyoung doesn’t expect it when Daehwi splashes him with water. He looks up at him completely frozen and Daehwi is scared he might have done a mistake. He is about to apologise when he is hit with water as well. Compared to the air outside, the water is freezing and Daehwi shivers but he laughs, and they start splashing around, water to their knees, chasing each other and running around and Daehwi swears the whole island can hear their laughs. Their. Because it’s the first time Daehwi sees Jinyoung laugh, and he decides on the spot that this loud and clear sound and the way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles wide and the way he claps his hand when he’s laughing too much, he decides this is his favourite sight in the whole world. And nothing even comes close. 

When they’re about to walk back to the sand, at least twenty minutes later, Daehwi decides to try a sneaky attack on Jinyoung who’s walking behind. Jinyoung runs to catch him, and wraps his arms around him, immobilizing his arms and hands. Daehwi struggles to break free at first but his efforts are vain. Jinyoung’s grip is too strong and he’s too close, his fragrance is all he can smell and he can feel his chest pressed against his back and he suddenly has trouble breathing correctly. Jinyoung releases him just a moment later, troubled by the sudden proximity. He walks to the beach and sits down, staring at the horizon, the sun has almost completely disappeared by now and Daehwi worries about how they will go home. Home. Daehwi hasn’t used that word in years. Because he has never felt safe anywhere. Never felt like anything was a  _ home _ to him. He hadn’t thought about it before using it. It had come naturally. Like his mind had finally found somewhere ( _ someone? _ ) it could call a home. 

Daehwi sits back next to Jinyoung, his clothes are soaked and little water droplets are flying from his hair when he shakes his head. Jinyoung smiles as he watches him. 

 

“I’m glad I found you.” 

 

Daehwi has never turned his head so fast. Jinyoung’s face isn’t showing any sign of embarrassment or shyness, he’s looking straight into Daehwi’s eyes and the sincerity of his words has Daehwi’s heart skipping a beat. 

That’s when he decides that, he should just go for it. That it can’t go wrong now. Jinyoung is the first person that ever made him  _ feel _ these things. He’s the first person he has ever wanted to stay with. To open up to. He’s the first person he’s ever trusted that much. And he feels as if he doesn’t do it now, he’ll regret it forever. Jinyoung is still watching him, with his golden and brown eyes, colors mingling, barely visible with the shadows on his face. He looks expectant like he knows what Daehwi wants and he’s just waiting for him to do  _ something _ . Daehwi doesn’t need any more encouragement. He closes his eyes, just because. He gets closer and closer to Jinyoung’s face and before he even knows it, Jinyoung’s lips brushes against his and it’s almost electrifying. The touch is soft and so gentle. Jinyoung’s lips start moving against his and Daehwi feels like everything around them is fading away. All he can feel is Jinyoung’s lips on his, kissing him, Jinyoung’s hand on his knee, supporting himself, while his other hand is slightly grasping his hair. Daehwi is intoxicated with Jinyoung’s smell. With his taste. He doesn’t know how long it lasts, it feels like time has stopped. When Jinyoung pulls away, Daehwi is breathless. His lips are red and wet and his eyes are almost sparkling. 

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything although Daehwi is looking at him with wide eyes. It’s practically like he’s avoiding his gaze but when Jinyoung lays down on the sand, face facing the night sky and the stars, he opens his arms, gesturing for Daehwi to cuddle by his side. Daehwi doesn’t need to be told twice. Jinyoung wraps his arm around Daehwi’s shoulders and they stay like that, impossibly close to each other, in the warmth of the other’s embrace until Daehwi finally falls asleep. 

 

◇◆◇

 

The next morning, Daehwi wakes up in the tree house under the covers and Jinyoung isn't here. His heart tightens in his chest as he gets up, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He looks out of the window but the forest is calm and Jinyoung isn't out there either. His heart starts beating faster in his chest as he goes down the ladder hurriedly. He starts running towards the beach without even looking where he's going and he bumps into someone. Jinyoung catches him before he falls. Daehwi is so relieved to see him he jumps to him, wrapping his arms tightly around Jinyoung's neck. 

 

“I thought you left”, Daehwi whispers, his voice trembling. 

 

“Why would I leave? I have everything I need here” Jinyoung answers, lovingly caressing the back of Daehwi's head. 

 

Daehwi blushes at his answer and he buries his head in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck to hide. 

A few days pass without any other incident. And without them talking about the kiss they shared again. Daehwi doesn’t worry too much about it though. They will talk about it when they’re ready. When Jinyoung is ready. He doesn’t know if it was too early. After all they have only known each other for a few days but Daehwi feels like it has been an eternity already. And Daehwi would kiss Jinyoung in a heartbeat if given the opportunity again. 

They spend days, weeks even, on the island. Daehwi loses track of time after a while. It could have been months. He just knows Jinyoung never leaves his side again. Except some mornings when Daehwi wakes up earlier than usual and Jinyoung isn’t here. But he always comes back just a few minutes later and Daehwi pretends he’s still sleeping. He pretends he doesn’t know he leaves the house every night since they arrived. Daehwi worries about him. He worries that he’s not getting any sleep, but Jinyoung never shows any sign of sleepiness or tiredness. Daehwi realises Jinyoung has never once been out of breath or felt cold or hot or anything that a normal human being would feel. The nights are freezing on Neverland and the days are so warm Daehwi’s only wish is to go swimming in the cool waters. But Jinyoung doesn’t seem to ever be affected by anything, be it the weather or physical pain. And of course Daehwi’s mind start racing and he asks himself a ton of questions. But he doesn’t want to ask them out loud, because he’s not sure Jinyoung is ready to answer them. And there is no right moment or way to ask “Hey are you actually human?”. So Daehwi keeps his mouth shut. 

He knows Jinyoung isn’t human. Or at least, not the same kind of human Daehwi is. Because humans don’t fly.  _ And Jinyoung does _ . Humans can’t separate from their shadows.  _ But Jinyoung can _ . Humans need to sleep at night.  _ But Jinyoung doesn’t _ . 

One night Daehwi’s desire to know overcomes his want to let Jinyoung tell him when he’s ready. He wraps himself in the blankets like he has done countless times the past few weeks and he closes his eyes. His breathing calms down and he pretends to fall asleep. He knows Jinyoung is still sitting next to the window, just like he is every night before he leaves. Daehwi is starting to drift to sleep when Jinyoung moves. It’s swift and quiet and Daehwi almost misses it. He figures it must have been an hour since he went to bed. He waits until he hears Jinyoung moving away through the bushes of the forest. He gets down the ladder discreetly and follows Jinyoung from afar, as quietly as he can. The walk is long and Daehwi is practically out of breath when he reaches the cave Jinyoung has just entered. He puts his hand on the nearest tree for support and gives himself a minute to calm his breathing. There’s a knot in his stomach and he doesn’t know what is right to do anymore. He’s scared and excited. He wants to know but he’s also not sure he’s supposed to be here. The entrance of the cave is hidden away and had he not followed Jinyoung he would have never noticed it was even there. Daehwi takes a deep breath in, and steps inside against all good judgment. The inside of the cave is plunged in darkness so much so that Daehwi cannot see further than his shoes. He puts his hand on the icy wall and guides himself like that until he sees light coming from the end of the corridor. A faint orange light. As he gets closer and closer he realises it’s coming from candles. 

What he sees when he reaches the candle-lit room has him frozen with terror. He fights the urge to just run away on the spot. Jinyoung is here. He’s sitting in the middle of the room, his knees to his chest and he seems in pain, his knuckles white, tightening around the material of his jeans. The back of his shirt is lacerated and wings are coming out of his shoulder blades. Skeletal wings, spreading inside the cave and taking up all the space, the skin joining the bones is torn in places and dark and bloody. On the ground where Jinyoung is sitting, drawn in a reddish color that looks too much like blood, is a pentagram. Daehwi shudders as he takes in this horrifying vision. All over the walls around the room are claw marks carved deep into the stone and blood stains, some of them recent but most of them are dried and have probably been there for months, maybe years?

Daehwi cannot contain the scream he lets out when he sees the bones piling up in the corners of the room and Jinyoung’s head shoots up at the sound. Jinyoung’s eyes lock with his. There is no more golden glimmer, no more warm brown color. No more light. His eyes are like two black holes sucking in his soul. Tears of blood are staining his hollow cheeks and his skin is paler than Daehwi has ever seen it. Jinyoung releases the grip on his jeans and Daehwi can see where the marks on the walls come from. Jinyoung’s hand isn’t human anymore, none of him is, his fingers are elongated, bony and white and the nails have been replaced by razor-sharp black claws. In a fraction of a second, Jinyoung is up to his feet and sprinting towards the entrance of the room, towards where Daehwi is standing. Daehwi is frozen in place, unable to move a muscle, the fright paralyzing him. 

Jinyoung is stopped in his momentum by an invisible wall which Daehwi realizes is only here thanks to the pentagram drawn on the ground. Jinyoung’s claws are vainly trying to tear the wall apart but nothing budges. The screeches that leave his mouth are nothing even remotely human and Daehwi doesn’t even know if Jinyoung is still in there. Inside that… _ creature _ .  It’s at that moment that Daehwi’s survival instincts kick in and his legs find their mobility again. He runs away as fast as he can and almost trips at least three times, the ground of the cave humid and slippery. He runs for what seems like ages, his heart beating so hard inside of his ribcage he worries it might rip out of his chest. He doesn’t want to go back to the tree house, he doesn’t want Jinyoung to find him again. He wants to leave this place. He wants to go back to  _ his _ house. He doesn’t feel safe here anymore. The tree house has become a prison, the island itself has him trapped inside. He has never felt more lonely and scared in his life than right this instant on this empty island, trapped with a creature that’s ready to kill him any moment. 

Daehwi stops running once he reaches the beach where they first kissed what feels like years ago. He falls down on his knees facing the sea and the tears flow out of his eyes. He still doesn’t realises what he has just seen but he knows he needs to let it all out. He cries for almost an hour, sobbing loudly, his body shaking with the force of his cries. He can’t get the image of the bones, the blood, and Jinyoung. Jinyoung’s terrifying eyes, his bony wings spurting from his back and his claws ready to rip his heart out. Any sign of life or humanity completely wiped out. Daehwi retches, on his hand and knees in the sand, his cheeks stained with tears and his eyes red from crying. 

Daehwi doesn’t know how long he spends crying on this beach but just as dawn is breaking, he passes out from exhaustion in the sand. When he opens his eyes again, a few hours later only, woken up in cold sweat by the nightmare of what happened that night, there’s a blanket covering him. Daehwi throws it away and brings his knees to his chest when he realizes. Because this can only mean one thing. 

 

“I’m so sorry you had to see that” a familiar voice says, coming from Daehwi’s side. 

 

Startled, Daehwi moves backward quickly, his back hitting the cold stone behind him.  

 

“Don’t come closer” he says, trying to conceal the shaking in his voice. 

 

Jinyoung makes no sign of moving, he stays here, sitting in the sand. He doesn’t look threatening at all, but Daehwi has already been fooled once, and he knows better than to fall for it again. Jinyoung is still wearing his torn black shirt and his dirty jeans but he looks human at least. His hands are dirty with mud and blood and his hair is messy but he is back to normal. As normal as he used to be at least. The brown in his eyes have found their golden flicker back. 

 

“I know you don’t want me here right now but, please let me explain. You deserve to know. And I should have told you that day. When you kissed me.” 

“Then why didn’t you?” Daehwi asks, cautious, looking around him for an escape if needed.  

 

“I was scared. Daehwi, I’ve never in my life cared for someone so much before I met you.” Jinyoung answers, not looking at him in the eyes, like he doesn’t know how much he can say. 

 

“How do I know you’re not just saying this so you can kill me later?” Daehwi says coldly. 

 

Jinyoung stays silent for a moment. He wants Daehwi to understand but he’s starting to wonder if he should tell him the truth or if hiding it from him would protect him better. If Daehwi doesn’t know, he can go home. He can be safe. But Jinyoung’s heart is constricted by the feeling in his chest and it’s so powerful he can barely breathe. He needs him to know. He owes him the truth. 

 

“Do you remember the day we met? And you took my hand for the first time? What did you feel that time?” Jinyoung asks after a while. 

 

Daehwi seems to think about it for a moment. He remembers that day so well. He remembers how Jinyoung jumped into his room, a complete stranger that came through the window, and Daehwi didn’t hesitate a second to follow him. To take his hand. 

 

“It was cold.” Daehwi answers then, like it is the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

“Exactly.” Jinyoung says “Come touch it now.” 

 

Daehwi doesn’t move an inch, still too cautious to come closer. But there’s something inside him that wants to touch Jinyoung, a curiosity growing inside of his belly and he’s not sure he can resist it for long. Not when Jinyoung’s sitting there, his hand outstretched like the first day they met, his eyes so sorrowful, as if all the guilt in the world was weighing on his shoulders. And Daehwi can’t help but think, or  _ hope _ , that this is Jinyoung,  _ his Jinyoung _ . And he wants him back more than anything. Jinyoung is about to pull back his hand when Daehwi decides to move forward. Both of them are kneeling on the sand so Daehwi crawls forward, one step at a time, not knowing if he should regret this. Now Daehwi is only centimeters away from Jinyoung’s hand. He stretches his hand and his fingers graze Jinyoung’s and just like it did that night, Jinyoung’s hand close around his. It’s warm and gentle and nothing like what it felt the first time. Daehwi’s questioning gaze meets Jinyoung and the latter is smiling softly. 

“See… That’s you. Daehwi, with you I became more human than I have ever been in my life. You bring me happiness and it’s something I never thought I’d ever feel. My heart has always been cold and barren but you made it beat again.” 

 

Daehwi’s heart skips a beat, his hand still in Jinyoung’s grip. Jinyoung has never looked away during all of his confession and Daehwi is blushing under is intense eyes. 

 

“If you feel that way you have to be honest with me Jinyoung. What  _ are _ you?” Daehwi starts.

 

Jinyoung doesn’t answer right away. And Daehwi knows it must be something hard for him to talk about considering what he saw the night before. Then he takes a deep breath and starts telling his story. 

 

“I’ve been like that ever since I was a child. I live with this… demon inside of me. I can’t tell you exactly what it is but it’s always been there. It’s living inside of me, lying low during the day but taking possession of my body at night, when its powers grow. My mother used to chain me up at night in the cellar so I wouldn’t hurt anyone. But one day, I was six years old, I remember it as clearly as if it was yesterday. One day I woke up with blood on my hands and my mother’s body lying in front of me, the remnants of my cuffs still hanging from my wrists. I… _ It  _ had found a way to break free and it  _ killed _ her.” Jinyoung pauses at that. His face is still calm but Daehwi sees in his eyes the trauma and the scars it had left inside of him. “The day after it happened, my father sent me on this island. He probably hoped I would die here. But I didn’t. The demon kept me alive. I was just a six-year-old trying to survive on a deserted island away from everything and alone. So _ alone _ . I called this place Neverland because it was my favourite tale as a kid and I really felt like a Lost Boy back then. After a few years of adjusting to this life, the demon grew more and more in power. And it started using me. The boys I’ve been telling you about. The boys I’ve brought here. The demon taught me to fly and he grew in me so much so that I started losing what it was like to be human. The nightmares, that’s what it does. And when I bring the boys here, it makes them stop. So once they’re peaceful and happy. It kills them. It did it five times already. And you’re the latest one. And it wants to kill you too. What you saw tonight, the pentagram, that’s what I use to contain it. That’s why I never stayed with you at night. I can’t risk hurting you. I’m sorry, Daehwi. I’m so sorry you had to witness this. And I’m so sorry for bringing you here in the first place, for not being strong enough to fight back. I’ve let it decide for me for so long, I’ve been alone with it for so long that I forgot what it’s like to act for myself. You gave me the will to fight Daehwi. And I could never thank you enough for that. But now you have to leave. You have to be safe.”

When Jinyoung is done talking, he still has the same calm and expressionless face as when he started. Daehwi on the other hand, is crying by the end of his story. He wipes the tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. He is not bothered by Jinyoung’s revelation that he brought him here to kill him, no, that’s not what matters to him. What matters is that Jinyoung is suffering and Daehwi would do anything for that suffering to end. Anything. 

 

“I’m not leaving” Daehwi answers firmly. 

 

He takes Jinyoung’s hand in both of his own and stares at him with that determined look in his eyes that Jinyoung knows so well, and he also knows there’s nothing that will make him change his mind now. But this isn’t going to stop Jinyoung from trying. 

 

“Don’t do that Daehwi. You don’t understand, you don’t _ know _ what this is.” 

 

“I want to help you” Daehwi says simply. 

 

“You can’t!” Jinyoung cries and Daehwi’s taken aback by the anger in his voice. “It’s just… You don’t know what it’s like, you can’t do anything to help, I’ve tried for years to break free and nothing ever,  _ ever  _ worked.” he continues, his voice softening. 

 

Daehwi looks at him for a long time, not saying anything, their hands still intertwined. He knows he can’t understand what Jinyoung went through all these years but he knows one thing. He  _ loves _ him. And this thing alone is enough to have him make up his mind. He’s staying. No matter what Jinyoung says. 

 

“Let me try.” Daehwi starts softly. “You can’t just say I can’t help you. You don’t know that. I know- I know you’ve been struggling for so long. But you were alone. Now you’re not anymore, you’re not doing this alone. And the two of us can beat this thing. Because I will not tolerate anything making you miserable, you hear me? Jinyoung, look at me. _I love you_. We can do this. Please.”

 

Jinyoung sighs and he wants to keep resisting but if he’s honest with himself he’s tired of fighting and he doesn’t want to do this alone anymore. His features soften as he lets go. 

 

“Okay” he says. 

 

“Okay ?” Daehwi repeats, not expecting this answer. 

 

“Yeah, okay.” Jinyoung says again, smiling up at him. 

 

Daehwi jumps in his arms and kisses him again for the first time in weeks. And it was worth all the wait in the world. To feel the way Jinyoung’s arms wraps themselves around Daehwi’s tiny waist as they stumble backward on the sand, giggling. Daehwi’s on top of Jinyoung and he’s smiling so wide his eyes crinkle and Jinyoung never wants this moment to end. 

But it does. Eventually, night comes and Jinyoung’s nightmare starts all over again. This time Daehwi doesn’t come with him to the cave; but he doesn’t sleep either. Because he can’t sleep knowing what Jinyoung is going through. After having seen it with his own eyes. And he knows he assured Jinyoung he was fine but every time he closes his eyes the images flash in his mind and he can’t rest without seeing it over and over again. So Daehwi stays awake and he thinks. He tries to find a solution, _ anything _ , to help Jinyoung. But it’s a  _ demon _ they’re dealing with and no matter how much Daehwi tried to deny it, Jinyoung is right, he doesn’t know anything about it. He especially cannot do anything about it  _ here. _ In the middle of nowhere. If they want to have the slightest chance of finding a solution to Jinyoung’s problem they need to get back on the continent. But that takes a lot of convincing from Daehwi’s part to get Jinyoung to agree to that. When Daehwi tells him about his idea, Jinyoung looks terrified and panicked, so Daehwi takes his hands in his and strokes the back of them with his thumbs soothingly while he makes him understand why that is necessary. But Jinyoung understands, he knows they have to do it but he’s scared. He hasn’t set a foot on the continent for more than one night since he was six years old. Going back there scares him. Neverland is his safe place. He knows he can’t hurt anyone here. But there? With all these people around and nothing to restrain him at night? It is definitely a terrible idea. But as Daehwi points it out when Jinyoung expresses his worries, it is the only idea that they have. And it is worth every try. 

 

Jinyoung doesn’t even know what Daehwi plans to do once on the continent. Is there anyone out there that is really able to help them? He doubts it. He doubts he can ever be saved. But Daehwi gave him a hint of hope and he’s holding onto it. No matter how small. He has put all his trust in Daehwi, in this boy that he loves more than he has ever loved anyone in his life. So he follows him. He follows him back to Seoul, in this crowded, buzzing with life city that he hasn’t set a foot in since he was a kid. Jinyoung flies them both there and they land in a park in the early morning so no one sees them. Jinyoung stays frozen in place when their feet touch the soft green grass of the park. Despite the sun starting to rise from the horizon, the air is still ice cold and Jinyoung blames his lack of movements on the cold and not the fright rising inside of him with every second that passes. Daehwi who had walked a few steps away already turns back and sees him standing there, in the middle of the grass, his hands tightened into fists, his nails digging into his skin. Daehwi walks back to join him, he takes one of his closed fists in his hand and makes him relax, intertwining their fingers together and leading him towards the exit of the park. Jinyoung takes a small step, then another. Daehwi’s here with him, there’s nothing to be afraid of, he’s not doing this alone. Not ever again. There’s no reason to be scared. He’s okay.

 

“Where do you want to stay tonight?” Daehwi asks as they walk around in the streets, hand in hand. 

 

The streets are almost empty except the shop owners that are preparing to open up their business for the day. It feels almost unreal to be walking here, in these unusually quiet and lonely streets. 

 

“Don’t you have a place to go?” Jinyoung asks.

 

Daehwi’s face darkens at that and Jinyoung regrets ever saying anything in the first place. That’s when Jinyoung realizes he doesn’t know anything about Daehwi’s family and suddenly he’s worried. 

 

“No, when you found me I was living in an orphanage. I was abandoned as a baby and I guess no one really wanted to adopt me so I stayed there.” he finally answers. “It’s fine though, don’t worry, I’m okay!” he adds after seeing Jinyoung’s expression. 

 

They walk in silence for a while until Daehwi offers they stay at a hotel for the night. And Jinyoung makes him promise they’re not staying longer than one night only. Daehwi first leads them to the orphanage. The one he hasn’t been in for months. His hands are shaking as they stand next to the building, looking up at the run-down walls made of this washed out red brick. 

 

“I never wanted to come back” Daehwi says so softly Jinyoung barely catches his words. 

 

Jinyoung presses his hand in encouragement and Daehwi smiles at him. He tells him to wait outside as he enters through the back door. He doesn’t want anyone to see him, to question him. He’s just here to get his stuff back, and most importantly his money, to pay for the hotel. He had accumulated quite some cash over the years with little jobs here and there and somehow he had known a day would come where he would need it. He had expected it to be when he was eighteen and would have to leave this place but to save his boyfriend is an even better use for it. Daehwi knows this place by heart and he still remembers the exact time of the patrols of the supervisor. 

Daehwi is small and light and he has no problem sneaking in unnoticed. Jinyoung waits outside, anxious and hoping that Daehwi doesn’t get caught, and just as he is starting to wonder if he should go in to check on him, Daehwi’s head pops out from the open door in the back. 

 

“Guess who’s rich?” he says with a cheeky smile displaying the wad of bills in his hand. 

◇◆◇

 

After a while of wandering through the city, hand in hand, the air still freezing in the middle of February, they stumble upon a sketchy little shop in the corner of a small and lonely alley. A shop they would have usually ignored, avoided even, but right now, this may be exactly what they’re looking for. The wooden sign, hanging loosely on a nail on the door reads “KEEP OUT!” in red smudged paint. Daehwi throws a curious glance at Jinyoung and can’t help his hand from reaching for the rusted doorknob. Jinyoung catches his wrist, stopping him before he can open the door. 

 

“Don’t. We’re not asking a shaman for help.” Jinyoung says, his voice gone cold. 

“How do you know it’s a shaman?” Daehwi asks, puzzled. 

 

“Just look carefully.”

 

All around the door, carved in the stone of the walls and painted in white on the door frame are dozens and dozens of mystic symbols Daehwi has only ever seen once in his life, in a history book on Korean folklore and shamanism. Daehwi’s mouth forms an “o” as he realizes. 

 

“Come on let’s just go” Jinyoung says, pulling on his arm. 

 

“Wait” 

 

Daehwi can’t seem to be able to look away from the door. He remembers hearing about shamanism. He knows they are not thought highly of. He knows people have been trying to push them away for years. But somehow he feels this might be their solution right now. He’s heard about shamans performing exorcisms and if doctors can’t help them, then, oddly, this person, in this sketchy little shop that is trying to keep them away, probably can.  

 

“Why not try it?” Daehwi suggests with a small voice. 

 

“Are you being serious? A shaman, Daehwi?” 

 

“Yes. We’ve come all this way, I’m not leaving until we find someone to help you, and as much as you might be against it, this might be what we need. I know they perform exorcisms and it won’t cost us anything to just ask.” 

 

Jinyoung sighs because no matter how much he wants to refuse he knows Daehwi’s right and they can’t leave out any option. Daehwi knows the face Jinyoung makes when he gives in and so he knocks on the door without saying anything more. No answer. He knocks again, louder this time. 

 

“Go away!” a male voice yells inside of the shop.

 

“We need your help, please open up” Daehwi yells back.

 

“I don’t care just leave me alone!” 

 

“We need an exorcism!” Daehwi adds, not losing his composure against the other’s resistance. 

 

The room has gotten quiet on the other side of the door and Daehwi is about to yell again when he hears a rumble inside and steps approaching. The next thing he knows, the door is opening revealing a small man with gray hair and a receding hairline. His eyes are narrowed in a suspicious look as he stares at them from head to toe. When his gaze falls upon Jinyoung, he takes a step back, his eyes widened in terror, muttering a “Gods save us” under his breath. Instinctively, Daehwi steps in front of Jinyoung, meaning to protect him even though he’s smaller than him. His eyes are fierce and he’s ready to fight if the shaman becomes violent towards him. 

 

“Can you help us or not?” he says harshly. 

 

The shaman seems to consider it for a moment, his hands fidgeting with the hem of one of his many shawls. 

 

“I can try” he says eventually, still not daring to come closer to them. “But it’s going to cost you a lot; I’m not messing with this kind of demon for free.” 

 

Daehwi gets the wad of bills out of his pocket and hands everything over to the shaman. The old man forgets everything about his fear when he sees the green bills shifting in Daehwi’s hand. He takes them and counts a hundred and fifty thousand won, with a nod of his head, he gestures for them to follow him further into his shop. The shop is small, just like its owner, and it smells strongly of incense, there are plants hanging from the ceiling and paper charms painted with Chinese characters cover every single portion of the walls. Jinyoung doesn’t feel safe as he follows the shaman to the back door of the shop but he has the feeling it’s the demon itself that is nervous walking in there, around all these religious symbols and charms. Jinyoung and Daehwi both enter the back room together when the shaman turns around. 

 

“You” he says while pointing at Daehwi “Wait outside” 

 

Daehwi is about to protest when Jinyoung throws him a look that means “I’ll be fine, just wait for me”. He reluctantly moves away, closing the door behind him, leaving Jinyoung inside with this shaman they barely know and he starts to wonder if it is that good of an idea. Daehwi paces around the shop, already showing signs of impatience. He shuffles through the shelves of books and books and books until he finds something that catches his eye. It’s a small red book with a golden title that read “Exorcism rituals”. As he browses through the pages, he finds countless of Latin prayers, Chinese prayers, Korean prayers. Daehwi feels instantly drawn to it, and  _ just in case _ , he puts it in his back pocket, looking around worriedly, not wanting to get caught stealing. Inside the backroom, nothing can be heard, not a sound, not a word. 

Until the screaming starts. Daehwi recognizes Jinyoung's voice in a fraction of a second and he rushes to the wooden door, banging loudly on it. From the other side, he can hear loud regular muffled sounds, like something hard hitting a body. The screams intensify as the hitting gets quicker, more violent with every second that passes. Covered by Jinyoung’s screams, Daehwi can hear the shaman chanting. A monotonous, deep, calm voice, unfazed at the screams coming from the boy sitting in front of him. 

Daehwi bangs louder on the door, feeling desperate and powerless. He can’t possibly let Jinyoung suffer in there. They agreed they would try any option they encounter but Daehwi is not ready for this. Hell, he’ll do it himself if he has to but he won’t let a stranger beat up Jinyoung, he can’t betray him like that. He can’t abandon him. Jinyoung  _ trusts _ him. Daehwi scans the door, it looks old and rusty and he’s pretty sure even though he is small and light, it won’t take him much effort to kick it down. He walks away from the door a few steps, then runs into it full force. The shock hurts more than he expected it to. He rubs his shoulder a few times, pretty sure he dislocated it (or maybe he’s just being dramatic). Then he starts again, and again. His whole body starts to ache but he doesn’t give up, the door’s barely hanging on its hinges anymore. One more blast and the door falls down on the floor with a loud bang, raising dust from the ground and Daehwi almost chokes on it. 

Inside, he finds Jinyoung, attached to a chair, blood flowing from a cut in his bottom lip, and bruises on his arms and neck. Daehwi’s blinded by anger, he can’t think rationally, he stomps towards the shaman who fell back on the floor when he kicked the door and punches him in the face using all his strength. The old man screams and spits blood but Daehwi doesn’t look back. He unties Jinyoung from the chair, then grabs his wrist tightly, dragging him as far away as possible from the shaman. They leave the shop, practically running and when they’re about to reach the main street, they hear a familiar voice from the other side of the alley. 

 

“You bastards!!” the shaman yells “You can’t do this without me, both of you will just DIE” 

 

Daehwi is about to scream back at him when Jinyoung whines in pain and almost falls down. The younger boy catches him just in time and that’s when he notices the way he’s holding his sides and Daehwi realises his injuries might be even more important than he had thought at the beginning. 

 

“Lean on me, okay, be careful, it’s going to be fine I’m gonna bring you back home okay, don’t worry we’re good everything is fine it’s fine” Daehwi starts rambling. 

 

“Shush” Jinyoung says with a half smile. 

 

Daehwi watches the way his mouth stretches for that smile to bloom and even though blood is tainting it, it is still the most beautiful and brightest sight he has ever seen in his life. Jinyoung prevents him from spacing out too much by leaning his weight on his side and starting to limp, wanting to get away as fast as he can from the sketchy little shop in the sketchy little street. 

They find themselves back in the park they first arrived in, what feels like ages ago already when it has only been a few hours. Jinyoung ends up collapsing on the grass, laying down, facing the blue cloudless sky. 

 

“Are you going to be alright? Oh my god, what can I do I’m-” 

 

“Hey, I’m okay” Jinyoung says, reassuringly. “Just give me a few minutes, it’ll heal”. The look on Daehwi’s face must give away his incomprehension because he adds “Perks of sharing a body with an evil entity I guess?”

 

There’s a giggle and Daehwi sits down next to him, throwing his head back with a contented sigh, enjoying the fresh air and the heat of the sun on his skin. He ends up laying down next to Jinyoung, the grass soft and comfortable under him. He must have fallen asleep because he is woken up later by the feeling of Jinyoung's mouth delicately kissing his forehead. His eyes snap open, suddenly remembering where they are. 

 

“Are you better?” Daehwi asks, his voice trembling with worry. 

 

“All healed now” Jinyoung says proudly. 

 

Daehwi releases the breath he’s been holding and smiles softly. He gets up from where he was sitting in the grass and wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s lithe body, resting his cheek on his shoulder. Jinyoung looks taken aback at first but soon, one of his hand ends up stroking Daehwi’s lower back, his other hand playing with his silky brown hair. 

They stay like that for a moment before Jinyoung pulls away, his hand dropping from Daehwi’s back to hold his hand. The latter intertwines their fingers together and not even a second later they’re back in the sky again. 

Daehwi will never get over the feeling he gets when they fly together. He wishes he could stay up there forever, it almost feels like time doesn’t flow here, like none of their problems are real. Like everything can be solved in a gust of wind. 

But it’s fleeting. It always is. And before he even knows it they’re back on the ground, a little lightheaded but safe. They walk to the beach and Jinyoung sits down, Daehwi following closely after, and watches the waves come and go. His eyes seem lost on the horizon and Daehwi doesn’t dare interrupt his thoughts. 

 

“Thank you.” Jinyoung says after a while, his voice slightly shaking and he doesn’t trust himself to say anything more. 

 

“What for ? Everything so far has been a disaster” Daehwi states. 

 

“Thank you for trying. Thank you for- for not letting me down. For not giving up on me like everyone else in my life has. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for loving the mess that I am. Just thank you for being you, Daehwi” Jinyoung continues.

 

His voice breaks on Daehwi’s name and that’s when he notices how wet his cheeks are. Tears are silently flowing from his eyes like a gentle waterfall that glistens in the sunlight. Daehwi’s hand find Jinyoung’s, like it has countless of times over the past few months. And it’s familiar, easy, as if they have done this all their life. 

 

“Of course I’m going to be here with you. I’m not leaving until we save you. I told you.” 

 

“But it’s over. There’s no solution, nothing we can do.” Jinyoung argues. 

 

“That’s what  _ you _ think” Daehwi says with a grin. 

 

Jinyoung stares at him with a curious and confused look on his face as he gets the little red book out of his back pocket with a proud “Ta-da!”. To his disappointment, Jinyoung’s expression of confusion doesn’t change and he waves the little book in his face. 

 

“Look at it!! Look at the title!” he says excitedly. 

 

Jinyoung squints his eyes trying to read even though Daehwi’s hand doesn’t stay still. Then his expression shifts to something of a disagreement. 

 

“Oh we are so not doing this” he says lowly. 

 

“Oh but we are! Look, there are tones of different prayers in different languages and it explains exactly how to do the rituals and there’s one that we can do using the pentagram in the cave… Let me do this Jinyoung. I promise I stop after this. Just… Just let me try this.” 

 

Jinyoung sighs loudly and he has a feeling he might regret this but he ends up nodding slowly, barely moving his head but Daehwi knows he won already. And he smiles so big Jinyoung thinks he doesn’t mind letting him win over and over. 

The sun is almost setting already when they get moving towards the cave. They walk in a comfortable silence, none of them sure of what to say or what to do. Daehwi has a strange feeling in his stomach. He worries about what might happen. What if it doesn’t work? What if Jinyoung has to live his whole life with a demon inside of him? What if it works? What happens next, do they go back to Seoul? Both of them have nowhere to go, no family, nothing. He gulps down at the thoughts racing through his mind and tries not conceal it so Jinyoung doesn’t notice how nervous he is. It’s all on him now. He is the one about to do the ritual. He is no shaman. He is no religious priest. He is nothing, no one. He’s never even seen a spirit in his life, yet he has to do this. Because right now, he’s the only one Jinyoung can count on. And he cannot let him down. 

 

The candles in the cold room of the cave have all completely melted and Daehwi can’t see where to put his feet so he just follows Jinyoung, holding his hand a bit tighter than usual. Jinyoung lets go of his hand for two frightening minutes. Two long minutes where Daehwi doesn’t dare make a move; he feels trapped, and blind and he only starts breathing again once Jinyoung has lit new candles and the room in bathed in an orange glow. 

 

Daehwi watches the shadows dancing on Jinyoung’s face as he settles himself in the middle of the pentagram, sitting with his knees brought to his chest like he did all those nights since he was six years old. His hands are moist and he’s nervously gripping the little red book. He can do this.  _ He can do this _ . 

He opens it shakily, trying to find the ritual he’s seen the first time he opened it in the shop, the pages don’t seem to want to cooperate and it takes a while for his trembling fingers to find the right section. Jinyoung sees how anxious he is but he doesn’t make any comment. He just looks at him with this gaze that tells Daehwi, _ I trust you, wholeheartedly _ . And Daehwi is so grateful. 

He takes a deep breath, steps closer, his feet almost touching the edges of the pentagram drawn on the floor. He starts speaking, his voice lower than Jinyoung as ever heard it and slow, so slowly, drawing out each syllable and taking his time for the words to have their effects. It’s only after a few sentences that the demon starts to manifest itself. Jinyoung’s arms untangle from under his knees and when his head shoots up to look straight at Daehwi, the eyes are black and stripped of anything even remotely close to humanity. The younger boy shudders with fear but he doesn’t stop the words from leaving his mouth. He has to keep going with the ritual no matter what happens. 

Jinyoung gets up, still staring intensely at Daehwi, canines are growing from his mouth, tearing at the skin of his bottom lip and tears of blood start to slowly make their way down his cheeks, leaving a red stained trail behind them.

Daehwi wants to scream and run away, he feels terror taking over his whole body as he relives the nightmare he’s seen in his dreams every night since the first time he saw the demon. He’s frozen in place, his voice shaky but still reciting the prayer, almost chanting it now. Daehwi can hear bones cracking and the sound almost makes him retch. Jinyoung’s body is contorting into weird shapes as bones stick out of between his collarbones, growing, expanding, until huge skeleton wings Daehwi would recognise anywhere, spread inside the room. 

Jinyoung,  _ no _ , the demon is screeching now, the sound loud and ear-splitting and never-ending. Daehwi wants to cover his ears but the prayer is not done yet. He has to keep going. He starts talking louder, with a confidence he didn't know he had, trying to speak over the screams. It works for a moment, the demon goes strangely silent and he falls to the ground, visibly in pain, his growing claws scratching the floor with a grating noise that makes Daehwi's hairs stand on his arms. 

The demon crawls far from Daehwi, as far away as it possibly can, restrained by the pentagram. Daehwi’s eyes look up from the book and lock eyes with Jinyoung. The real Jinyoung. For a fraction of a second, the golden brown eyes are back and Daehwi’s breath catches in his throat, stopping his chanting. 

Then it’s Jinyoung’s voice, hoarse and croaky. He’s on his knees, spitting blood on the floor in front of him, he looks like he’s fighting a battle he knows he’ll lose. 

 

“It’s taking control! You have to leave this isn’t working!!” Jinyoung screams at him. 

 

The book falls from Daehwi’s shaky hands and as he gets up after picking it up, the demon greets him, only inches away from his face with a bloody grin and his eyes as dark as the void. Daehwi yells and hides his face behind his arms in a vain attempt to protect himself. But nothing comes. The demon stays standing there, watching him intently not able to move forward, the thin invisible line created by the pentagram protecting the younger boy from his sharp claws. 

 

“Your stupid little prayers will never be enough against me” 

 

And he sounds exactly like Jinyoung’s but it’s not Jinyoung anymore. Daehwi can hear an evilness and harshness in his tone and it’s something he’s never picked up from the other boy. The demon keeps standing there watching him and he seems less in pain with every moment that passes, like he’s growing stronger, feeding off of Daehwi’s fear. Daehwi gaze toughens. He will  _ not _ let this happen. He needs his Jinyoung back. And he will never tolerate anyone playing with him like that and  _ hurting _ him. There’s a glint of silver in the corner of his eye that catches his attention at that moment and Daehwi crouches down, staring at it like he has found the holy grail. It’s a small silver religious cross that fits in the palm of his hand. 

 

“Not enough eh?” he says back with a wicked grin. 

 

He has an idea. The craziest idea he’s ever had. But he’s willing to try  _ anything _ for Jinyoung. He tightens his grip around the cross and gets up, facing the demon again. After chanting it for so long Daehwi has memorised the prayer and he continues repeating it over and over making the demon take a step back, holding his head in his hands. He takes this as an opportunity. He steps inside the red circle drawn on the floor. The demon’s head shoots up when he notices, he’s too taken aback to even do anything and the only thing he can think is  _ why the hell would the human do something so reckless _ ?

Daehwi’s speaking gets louder and more confident as he takes another step forward and grabs Jinyoung’s face in between his hands, pressing the silver cross on his temple. The reaction is immediate, the demon cries out in pain, the charm burning his skin. Daehwi knows it’s working, he can feel it weaken, he can feel Jinyoung slowly coming back to him as his body keeps trying to break free, grasping Daehwi’s wrists leaving bloody marks as it tears at the skin. But Daehwi doesn’t move an inch. Closing his eyes not to face Jinyoung’s pained expression, he continues reciting the prayer in a monotonous voice, pressing the charm harder against the burning skin. The grip on his wrist loosens and just as he is about to open his eyes to see why, he feels a long sharp claw piercing his abdomen. He chokes out blood, hanging on to Jinyoung’s head, trying desperately to keep the charm in place. 

Another blow, to his chest this time, and another and another. The pain is unbearable, the metallic taste of blood has taken over his mouth and his vision has become white and blurry. His voice is small but his chanting doesn’t stop even for a second. He’s breathing heavily now, the room feels like it’s spinning and Daehwi knows he won’t last much longer. He can hear the demon screeching again, the sound muffled, his blood pumping in his ear. He can’t keep his grip on Jinyoung’s face anymore and his arms fall limply on his sides, the silver cross falling from his hands. His voice dies in his throat and he falls to the ground. He sees the demon contorting and crying out and even though he can barely register what is happening, there’s a faint smile on his face. 

_ He did it _ . 

He closes his eyes for a moment but he doesn't want to go. Not like this. His eyes try to focus on Jinyoung. He wants to see him. He wants to see his eyes before he goes. And he sees them. Wide and panicked but  _ human _ . He’s only him up in his arms, his hands are bloody and dirty but  _ human _ . His face is still burnt on the side and his mouth is injured but  _ human _ . There are tears coming out of his eyes as he’s desperately trying to stop the blood from flowing out of Daehwi’s wounds, pressing his hands to the holes in his chest and stomach. Daehwi grabs his hand with a smile, stopping him in his frenzy. 

 

“It’s okay. You’re free now. You have to live, Jinyoung. Please, for me, live the best life you could have ever wished for.” 

 

Jinyoung sobs and he can’t answer anything except. 

 

“I love you I love you I love you” he is repeating it like a mantra, like a hope the simple fact that he loves him would solve everything. 

 

“Promise me” Daehwi asks, and his voice his so faint Jinyoung can barely hear it. 

 

“I promise you” Jinyoung answers. 

 

Daehwi smiles. One last time. And Jinyoung sobs, crying and screaming, holding Daehwi’s lifeless body in his arms and refusing to let go. 

 

◇◆◇

 

“Hey, Daehwi. It’s me again. I can’t believe I’ve been visiting you every week to tell you how stupid that was. What you did. It was stupid and reckless but you did it for me. You did it because you loved me. So it’s only fair I do something as stupid to show you how much I loved-  _ love _ you. 

You remember that time you talked about music? Your eyes had that special sparkle in them that I had never seen anywhere else. You told me you wanted to write songs. You wanted to sing those songs to the world. You wanted to be known, but most of all you wanted to be remembered. 

Your last words to me… You wanted me to live the best life I could right? Well this is it. This is what I’ve chosen. I will spend the rest of my life making sure the world knows about you. About how great you were and how pure your soul was. How selfless and loving and carefree you were. How happy you were. I want the whole world to know your smile and be blinded by it. 

And I’m not as good at writing songs as you were but I learn. I want to make beautiful things. So people know how beautiful you were. You saved my life Daehwi, in many many ways a human soul can be saved. I will always remember you. 

Now this song will be released tomorrow. It’s the first of them. The first of these songs about you. I’m gonna sing for you, try not to judge me too much, I’m never as good as you were. You excelled in everything. 

I love you Daehwi. Forever and ever. “

 

_ I feel you, I feel you, I want you _

_ I’ll always place you inside of me  _

_ So I’ll never forget our memories _

_ I’m feeling you _

 

**Author's Note:**

> hiii  
> i hope you don't hate me too much  
> thank you so much for reading and i really hope you liked it!!  
> this was originally a peter pan rewriting for my creative writing class and then i just randomly decided to turn it into a angsty jinhwi fic sUE ME
> 
> pls leave kudos and comments if you liked it:))  
> (come scream at me on twitter @/knksyuzu)


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